58 | The Lion King
Jokes
A Confident Genius
and an Idiot
A proud and confident
genius makes a bet with
an idiot. The genius says,
“Hey idiot, every question
I ask you that you don’t
know the answer, you
have to give me $5. And
if you ask me a question
and I can’t answer yours, I
will give you $5,000.” The
idiot says, “Okay.”
The genius then asks,
“How many continents are
there in the world?” The
idiot doesn’t know and
hands over the $5. The
idiot says, “Now me ask:
what animal stands with
two legs but sleeps with
three?” The genius tries
and searches very hard for
the answer but gives up
and hands over the $5000.
The genius says, “Dang it, I
lost. By the way, what was
the answer to your ques-
tion?” The idiot hands
over $5.
How Were People Born?
A child asked his father, “How
were people born?” So his father
said, “Adam and Eve made ba-
bies, then their babies became
adults and made babies, and
so on.”
The child then went to his
mother, asked her the same
question and she told him, “We
were monkeys then we evolved
to become like we are now.” The
child ran back to his father and
said, “You lied to me!” His father
replied, “No, your mom was talk-
ing about her side of the family.”
This guy needs a job and decides
to apply at the zoo. As it hap-
pened, their star attraction, a go-
rilla, had passed away the night
before and they had carefully
preserved his hide.
They tell this guy that they'll pay
him well if he would dress up in
the gorillas skin and pretend to
be the gorilla so people will keep
coming to the zoo.
Well, the guy has his doubts, but,
hey! He needs the money, so he
puts on the skin and goes out into
the cage.
The people all cheer to see him.
He plays up to the audience
and they just eat it up. This isn't
so bad, he thinks, and he starts
really putting on a show, jumping
around, beating his chest and
roaring, swinging around. During
one acrobatic attempt, though,
he loses his balance and crash-
es through some safety netting,
landing square in the middle of
the lion cage!
As he lies there stunned, the lion
roars. He's terrified and starts
screaming, "Help, Help, Help!" The
lion races over to him, places his
paws on his chest and hisses, "Shut
up or we'll BOTH lose our jobs!"
Fat Cow
The Zoo
Teacher: “Kids, what does the chick-
en give you?”
Student: “Meat!”
Teacher: “Very good! Now what does
the pig give you?”
Student: “Bacon!”
Teacher: “Great! And what does the
fat cow give you?”
Student: “Homework!”
