58 •
The Lion King
• July - September 2016
ARTS
| HUMOUR
In the dream
...
When I eat
Darl’n...
In my dream last night, I
saw both of us in a jewelry
store and you bought me a
diamond ring.
Wow Babes, I had the same
dream and I saw you paying
the bill.
Udeme walked into a bar and aggressively shouted
his order to the bar man “Please give me N2,500
isiewu and Big Stout and then give everyone a N5,000
isiewu and Big Stout because when I eat I want
everyone to eat.” The bar man processed his request
and gave him his meal and everyone else theirs.
When they finished enjoying their meal he shouted
another order “Give me a bottle of Cognac brandy
and give everybody else a bottle of whiskey because
when I drink I want everybody to drink.” Everyone
was happy and singing Udeme’ praises saying “He is
the man.”
When Udeme finished his drink he shouted again
“Give me my bill and give everyone else their own bill
because when I pay for my meals and drinks, I want
everyone else to pay for theirs.”
PS: His burial is next week.
Table Manners
A boy asks his father, “Dad, are bugs good to eat?”
“That’s disgusting. Don’t talk about things like that
over dinner,” the dad replies.
After dinner the father asks, “Now, son, what did
you want to ask me?” “Oh, nothing,” the boy says.
“There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone.”
