Page 60 - The Lion King Magazine April - June 2012

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Jokes
Family Wahala
Two men met at a bus stop and
struck up a conversation. One of
them kept complaining of family
problems. Finally, the other man
said: “You think you have family
problems? Listen to my situation. A
few years ago I met a young widow
with a grown-up daughter and we
got married.
Later my father married my step
daughter. That made my step-
daughter my stepmother and my
father became my stepson. Also,my
wife became mother in-law of her
father-in-law.
Then the daughter of my wife, my
stepmother, had a son. This boy was
my half-brother because he was my
father’s son, but he was also the son
of my wife’s daughter which made
him my wife’s grand-son. That made
me the grandfather of my half-
brother.
This was nothing until my wife and
I had a son. Now the half-sister of
my son, my stepmother, is also the
grandmother. This makes my fa-
ther the brother-in-law of my child,
whose stepsister is my father’s wife,
I’m my stepmother’s brother-in-law,
my wife is her own child’s aunt, my
son is my father’s nephew and I’m
My own son’s grandfather! And you
think you have family wahala?”
Wishes
Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lan-
tern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish.
The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home.
The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says “I’m
lonely. I wish my friends were back here.”
Marriage Prayer
In a singles convention a prayer point was
raised “that singles should pray for their heart
desires”.
A lady prayed, “oh lord I don’t want to marry a short
man. I cast out any short man that is coming my way!”
And there’s this short man standing next to her, pray-
ing, “oh lord I’m a short man but I’m a billionaire”.
She heard the word ‘billionaire’ and immediately
changed her prayer, “oh lord! Is that your voice?
Who am I to say no? I will marry the ‘content’
and ignore the ‘container’.
Two guys are walking down the street when a mug-
ger approaches them and demands their money. They
both grudgingly pull out their wallets and begin taking
out their cash. Just then one guy turns to the other and
hands him a bill. “Here’s that N1,000 I owe you,” he says.
All is Fair in Business
A shopkeeper was dismayed when a brand new business
much like his own opened up next door and erected a
huge sign which read ‘BEST DEALS.’
He was horrified when another competitor opened up
on his right, and announced its arrival with an even larger
sign, reading ‘LOWEST PRICES.’
The shopkeeper panicked, until he got an idea. He put
the biggest sign of all over his own shop. It read: ‘MAIN
ENTRANCE’
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