58 •
The Lion King
• January - March 2017
Humour
Lesson 1
A sales rep, an administration clerk,
and the manager are walking to
lunch when they find an antique
oil lamp.
They rub it and a Genie comes
out. The Genie says, ‘I’ll give each
of you just one wish.’
‘Me first! Me first!’ says the
admin clerk. ‘I want to be in the
Bahamas, driving a speedboat,
without a care in the world.’
Puff! She’s gone.
‘Me next! Me next!’ says the
sales rep. ‘I want to be in Hawaii,
relaxing on the beach with my
personal masseuse, an endless
supply of Pina Coladas and the
love of my life.’
Puff! He’s gone.
‘OK, you’re up,’ the Genie says
to the manager. The manager
says, ‘I want those two back in
the office after lunch.’
Moral of
the story:
Always let
your boss
have the
first say.
Lesson 2:
An eagle was sitting on a tree
resting, doing nothing.
A small rabbit saw the eagle
and asked him, ‘Can I also sit like
you and do nothing?’ The eagle
answered: ‘Sure, why not.’
So, the rabbit sat on the ground
below the eagle and rested. All of
a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped
on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you
must be sitting very, very high up.
Lesson 3:
A turkey was chatting with a bull.
‘I would love to be able to get to
the top of that tree’ sighed the
turkey, ‘but I haven’t got the
energy.’
‘Well, why don’t you nibble on
some of my droppings?’ replied
the bull. ‘They’re packed with
nutrients.’
The turkey pecked at a
lump of dung, and found it
actually gave him enough
strength to reach the lowest
branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating
some more dung, he
reached the second
branch.
Finally after a fourth night,
the turkey was proudly
perched at the top of the
tree.
He was promptly spotted by
a farmer, who shot him out of
the tree.
Moral of the story:
Bull Sh*t might get you to the top,
but it won’t keep you there.
Management
Lessons
Lesson 4:
A little bird was flying south for the
winter. It was so cold the bird froze
and fell to the ground into a large
field.
While he was lying there, a cow
came by and dropped some dung
on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the
pile of cow dung, he began to
realize how warm he was.
The dung was actually thawing him
out!
He lay there all warm and happy,
and soon began to sing for joy. A
passing cat heard the bird singing
and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat
discovered the bird under the pile
of cow dung, and promptly dug
him out and ate him.
Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who sh*ts on you
is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you
out of sh*t is your friend.
(3) And when you’re in deep sh*t,
it’s best to keep your mouth
shut!
By Nonso Nduanya
Culled from
